Just Breathe
Cooper started preschool today. It was also Aiden’s first day of daycare. These aren’t really new arenas for the boys but each place does things differently and adjusting is a challenge. Preparation began last night. When I knew the boys were asleep, I took the time to label every glue stick, notebook, folder, and pencil my 3-year-old had to have for preschool, with his name. I packed them into his new backpack along with two full changes of clothes (and extra underwear and pull-ups — just in case). I laid out his clothes for the morning including shoes because if I didn’t, inevitably, one shoe would be missing in the morning. I set everything by the door. When I was finished with this, I grabbed Aiden’s little bumblebee backpack and put a blanket in it, two sets of extra clothes, diapers, rash cream, powder, a sippy-cup, a paci, and some of his favorite foods. I laid out his clothes and set it all by the door.
This morning neither child who, like clockwork, wakes up at 7:00 a.m., was awake. I snuck around the house long enough the make a cup of coffee, get dressed, and run a brush through my hair. Then I did the last thing a parent should ever have to do — I woke up my sleeping children. I quickly got Cooper dressed (after an argument about the shoes that he didn’t want to wear until the second we were leaving). I cut him a banana and fixed him a waffle and juice. We turned Curious George on PBS. While he was eating, I woke Aiden up (groggy and unhappy at me for turning on his lights). I got him dressed, fixed him his morning bottle, and settled him, also, in front of Curious George. At about that moment, Cooper finished his breakfast and wanted “something else.” Cheerios it is!
While they were finishing eating, and before their favorite game of “Destroy the Living Room” commenced, I threw on some make-up, grabbed things for the office, and threw all of our bags in the car. I microwaved my then-cold coffee and drank it quickly. It was 8:40. I got both boys together for a “First Day of School” picture outside and put them in the car.
When we got to the school, with help from the director, I got Cooper settled in his new classroom — no tears. Then I headed to the other side of the building to get Aiden settled in his classroom — no tears. Both teachers needed all the instructions and I needed all of the “first-time parent” instructions. All-in-all it took about 20 minutes to get them situated. The marathon was over.
When I left the school I looked at my watch and realized I had a good 35 minutes until Worship Architects. I went to the car and sat down and took a long, deep breath. I loosened my jaw that had probably been nervously clenching teeth for a while. I breathed in and out for a moment. No tears.
Oftentimes you’ll hear me pray this prayer: “Lord, send your Holy Spirit to fill us in all the places we are empty.” Don’t think for a moment that I’m only praying that prayer for you. Everyday is filled with business — a marathon at times. We are proverbially pulled left and right to meet demand after demand. Our lives are so jam-packed and filled to the brim with responsibilities that it’s easy to get caught up so much so that we get wound up very tightly and in-so-doing we close off our bodies to all the life-giving forces that we need to survive.
This morning it was oxygen for me. Without oxygen our bodies cannot function. We have to breathe. We have to pause and simply take a breath. It seems so simple — so second-nature but sometimes it very really just doesn’t happen.
The same thing goes for our spiritual lives. There is a life-giving breath that we too have to take in order to survive. It comes into our being just like oxygen — a breath — in the Hebrew, ruach, which means breath but can also mean spirit. We are to breath in the breath of God — God’s Holy Spirit to, yes, fill us in all the places we are empty. God’s Spirit gives us a different dimension of living. God’s Spirit mobilizes us when the tension of life stops us in our tracks or wears us out (or down, even). It is what fills us so that we can simply breathe and do so in such a way that life isn’t pulling us in all directions but that life is sustaining us instead.
Breathe today. Take a deep breath. Let the oxygen of life fill your lungs. Then breathe again. Take an even deeper breath and let the Holy Spirit sustain you — filling you in all the places you are empty.
