Rest
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
Oh is this a good one to start this drowsy Monday morning. It’s not really that it’s a ‘Monday.’ I don’t mind Mondays all that much. Generally I’m just thankful for another day to be all the things that God hopes I’ll be. You know, THE best wife there ever was (rolls eyes) or the Mom-of-the-Year! Yeah, not gonna happen. Maybe the best pastor my churches have ever had! Well, I already know that I’m following some pretty great pastors so I bet that one won’t come to fruition either. Maybe I’ll just give it my all today and see what happens and I think resigning to that notion is okay.
I’m oh-so-tired today — fatigued almost. Sunday was very long — blessed, don’t get me wrong (I feel like I need to say that) but long. I thank God that church was a blessing. I thank God that my men cooked an excellent breakfast for the congregation and a few guests. I thank God that charge conference is over and was a blessing and I thank God that our kickball team won last night but I thank God more that I didn’t have to play. It’s not my forte and, let’s face it, I was oh-so-tired.
I am tired. Most people know that I haven’t slept well in two years. Now, I’ll say this, it isn’t because I have a bad sleeper. This pastor-mom has the best sleeper EVER. Cooper sleeps from 8:30pm until 8:00am (or more) and then eagerly takes a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. I have NOTHING to complain about. So…..why don’t I sleep?
When I was about 6 weeks pregnant with Cooper and all my tiny blood vessels started pumping extra blood my nose rebelled and since then, without the help of a generic Afrin substitute only found at Walgreens, I can’t breathe. I don’t doubt my allergies have evolved over time as well. Then there’s that business syndrome that I think many suffer from. That, “I can’t shut my mind down,” syndrome. So, I take a unisom every night to sleep but don’t often get the time prescribed for sleep when taking it. Then the neighborhood dogs generally chime in a bit before I’m ready to wake up, Craig tosses; I turn. I just don’t sleep well anymore.
Last night, around 2:00am, Cooper couldn’t find his blessed paci. Neither could we. For some reason I like the “clear” pacies rather than the colored ones and those aren’t easy to find in a dark nursery at 2:00am. When we found the paci and, well, pacified the little man, and went back to bed, I began to run my mental-to-do list.
I need to call the UMW lady back in the morning to schedule a mission event in February. I’ve got to lay out next week’s bulletins and get started on my Luke sermon. I really need to buckle down some All Saints plans, clean the living room that was a mess when we went to bed, and schedule some visits. Yeah…..so……I guess I should lay here and think about all that while I need (very badly) to be sleeping, and I did.
So I’m tired this morning and scripture is calling me out on it!
“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14
“Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:9
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28
And on, and on, and on. Whew! There must be a reason that God inspired so many texts concerning our rest and our resting in God. I mean, even God did it. Cooper does it. Craig does it. It’s my prayer today for this pastor-mom, to not only find physical rest but mental and spiritual rest in a God that’s got this to-do list and will, very truly, wait patiently for me to get to it. That’s just how God is and God, well, God’s good — all the time.
