The “Go to Sleep” Song
I never really realize how much they hear — how much they pay attention. You’re asking, “Is she talking about her church or the boys?” Well, the statement is true for both but I’m thinking of the boys tonight.
They’ve been gone long enough that my heart is beginning to break a little. They’ve been gone long enough that I’m beginning to worry about them. They’ve been gone long enough that I wonder if they miss their “things” yet.
One of the things we started a few months ago is a song. I don’t remember how it started but I do remember that it started with Aiden.
Aiden is the snuggler. He needs to be held more. He wants to be with you more. Some of that, I’m sure, is separation anxiety. All the transition has hit him a little more than Cooper who’s got the coping skills to handle it a bit better. The other is really that he’s always been a bit of a momma’s boy in comparison to the staunchly independent Cooper.
One night when Aiden needed a snuggle to go to sleep, I made up a song as I rocked him. Very simple — very sweet. “Go to sleep, little boy. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams, little boy. I love you.” The lyrics accompany a simple tune and I began to sing it to him every night.
Then, out of mom-guilt and upon realizing that I never sang a good-night song to Cooper, I sang it to Cooper one night who was intrigued by it so I sang it the next night, and the next night. After a few nights, I forgot to sing Cooper the song and he made note of it. “Mommy, you need to sing the song.” So, I did. We said our prayer and I sang the song. Now he asks for a prayer and song when he lays down (even at nap) and really he’d rather me just sing the song.
About a week ago, as we were driving along, Cooper got bored in the car so I told him to sing some songs. This is something we normally do and he sings his normal (full) library. ABC’s. Twinkle Tinkle. Jesus Loves Me. I’ve Got the Joy. LET IT GO (ugh). This day, he wasn’t singing (or so I thought). I heard a little something from the back seat and looked in the rear-view to see his mouth moving so I knew he was saying SOMETHING. I turned the air down (it was blasting and loud) and heard his sweet angel of a voice singing, “Go to sleep, little boy. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams, little boy. I love you.” I started to cry. It was so beautiful. Never has there ever in this world been a more beautiful sound than his kind, soft little voice singing our song from the back seat of my car driving through Paducah. And Aiden was listening. He sang it twice and when he realized that I was listening said, “Mommy! You sing!” And so I did and then we sang it together.
I never thought he’d care. I would’ve sung him a song so long ago. He would’ve had his OWN song long before Aiden was born. But it’s ok. He has it now and, in fact, we have it now and we’ll always have it.
So, little boy, you’re not home but tonight I’m singing your song for you. Go to sleep, little boy. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams, little boy. I love you.
Very much.
